I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
