I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
