whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Randomize
