I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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