I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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