I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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