so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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