batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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