Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
