it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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