Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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