I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i don't like sucking hair
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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