So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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