okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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