jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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