I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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