Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We have started to decorate penises.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think my moral compass just broke
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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