Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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