why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
