You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
