There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Two words: blizzard sex
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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