i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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