Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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