peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
