She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
