I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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