There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
