I like to think it a success when the cops are called
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
