fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Randomize
