He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
