gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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