Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
