guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She told me I should be a condom model.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
