On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
