Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
