The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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