I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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