Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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