woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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