North Korea, Best Korea!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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