bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
