Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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