And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
