My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
