Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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