.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
