It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
