drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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