You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
