You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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