In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
