HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
