:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
