you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
