he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
