I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
