Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize