I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
